Showing Superiority complex and Being judgemental
Don’t belittle others for their mistakes
For most people, belittling others is a subconscious mechanism developed to inflate their own egos, usually at the cost of losing respect from others.
People often think, subconsciously or consciously, that if they point out someone’s mistake and lash out at them for being foolish, they can claim they’re better. But that’s rarely the case. In fact, people often judge or belittle others for making mistakes that they have made, too.
A truly secure person realizes that mistakes are a part and parcel of life. They don’t judge others for the same. They’re great at letting go of people’s mistakes. And when a particular mistake needs to be addressed, they make sure to do it in a constructive way such that they share insights, not tear down someone’s confidence.
Don’t have a superiority complex
Having a strong sense of sense-worth is vital to a person’s well-being, yet it’s also possible for someone to overemphasize their abilities and alienate the people around them.
A person with a superiority complex has an inflated sense of self. They believe that they’re better than other people. While it seems counterintuitive, having a superiority complex is actually caused by deep feelings of insecurity.
According to psychotherapist Alfred Adler, superiority arises out of inferiority. It exists as a defense mechanism against someone’s feelings of inferiority.
A person who is insecure doesn’t always have an oversized ego. Their insecurities might manifest as having low self-esteem or not believing in themselves. Yet when someone routinely puts themselves on a pedestal and looks down on others, it shows that they’re not very nice at all.
Don’t be judgemental
Being judgmental is an indication that someone isn’t as nice as they pretend to be. To some extent, being judgmental is part of human nature. When we meet a new person, we judge whether we can trust them and if we feel safe around them.
A 2020 research study noted that making immediate inferences about someone’s personality is rooted in evolution, and doing so is part of the adaptive process that helps us make decisions. Yet making assessments on people isn’t necessarily a neutral activity, even if it is human nature.
It’s likely that a person who isn’t as nice as they’re pretending to be will openly share the judgments they make about others without hesitation. Their judgments might take on a cruel tone, or they might be in reference to aspects of someone’s personality that they can’t control.
A truly nice person is open-minded enough to change their initial judgment calls once they learn more about someone, unlike a person who isn’t actually nice.
Don’t put other people down
Another way to tell if someone isn’t as nice as they’re pretending to be is to pay attention to how they talk about other people.
They might put up a front of kindness when they’re around certain people, then talk about them behind their backs. They might call attention to another person’s insecurities, then say it was just a joke. They might tease people, then ignore them when they express that their feelings are hurt.
Relying on insults and putting other people down to make themselves feel good is a clear indication that someone isn’t as nice as they’re pretending to be.